October 2005 - my final year at engineering college. Dilemma was my constant state of being. Just like almost everyone in the whole world I was also grappling with the same question – ‘What next?’
I had a good job offer on one hand, while on the other was the option to do MBA. But I knew deep down inside that I wanted to do something else. I wanted to be a full time volunteer for a youth ministry for a year. To be able to work with the Lord, for the Lord; to be able to know Him better and to experience Him in a closer, deeper way; to grow in His Love and share it with others. This desire had been in me for quite some time, but I was confused about what to do. So many questions were running through my head. How do I tell it to Mom? Will she allow? What about my future? How will my resumé look with a one year gap? Will I get a job later? Who will take care of the family? Etc etc etc.... So many of them!!! I was looking for answers. Then I faintly remembered one verse in the Bible. I read it some time ago, but I didn’t have any idea where in the Bible it was. It said, ‘Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you.’ This verse gave me hope. But I was still not sure. Weeks and months passed by and soon it was high time I decided what to do. Finally I thought of asking God for an opinion. One Saturday evening I decided to attend Mass, Confess and then spend some time in prayer asking God –‘What next?’ To my surprise He answered me before I could ask! It was during the confession. The priest was speaking to me after hearing me out. And then as a penance he asked me to go to my hostel room, open the Bible and read Gospel according to St Matthew, Chapter 6, Verse 33. And guess what it said? ‘Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto you.’!!! This was the very same verse which has been in my mind for the last few weeks. I couldn’t get a clearer answer. I took the blind leap of faith and decided to for the volunteership. There were lot of obstacles, but God made sure that everything fell in place and I had the best year of my life. I will cherish that one year all through my life. That year made me understand what life is.
But why am I sharing all this with you now after 5 yrs?? Well, that’s because this verse boomeranged into me some days ago. After coming here in Hyderabad and after the initial phase of chaos, I had decided that every morning before going to work, I’ll spend at least half an hour in my personal time with the Lord. I’m not that good with sticking to decisions, but this one I really wanted to continue. It was some time last week I had some extra work to be done at office, some important mails to be sent and so I wanted to leave pretty early. I had to cut down something in order to leave early and the most convenient one was the prayer time. I was convincing myself saying that I would do it in the night (which I was 100% sure would not happen). But thats when I heard this verse speaking to me again. ‘What are my priorities!!’, I thought. And then I made up my mind and sat down to spend my time with my Lord. I reached office pretty much on time and that day everything went better than planned, better than what would have happened otherwise. That was another strong way in which God told me what my priorities should be.
Many a times in life we get caught up doing all the mundane routine activities that we miss the essence of Life, we give importance to so many things that at the end we forget what is most important, we run behind so many other things which at the end of it doesn’t really matter.
This is one video which made me think about what my life is?
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul? (Mk8:36)
Go. Get a life!