Forgiven to Forgive

A few days back, I was reminded of an incident which happened in my first job. As an HR representative for more than 4000 employees, the volume of mails and calls that I would get was mind-boggling. After a period of a weeklong vacation followed by a weeklong offsite meeting and then some hectic travel schedule I was left with thousands of mails in my inbox to clear. In the midst of all this I skipped checking one very important mail which I shouldn’t have missed at any cost. This was a serious miss from my end. No matter what justification I gave, it wasn’t enough. I had a discussion with my boss and was expecting to get a call from my super-boss: the HR head for our region. The dreadful call finally came. I accepted the call nervously, my fingers almost shivering. I sheepishly said, “Hello” expecting to be scolded from the other end, expecting to hear a barrage of chosen words from my super-boss. But what happened was just the opposite. He spoke to me very calmly, said he understood what happened, reiterated that he trusted me and what I was capable of, asked me to learn from the mistake and get back on track. When the call ended I was dumbstruck. He had all authority, power, reason, right to penalize me for the mistake, but he chose to forgive. My respect for him just shot through the roof and I would never forget this incident ever in my life to come.

Let me pause and ask you a question. Have you ever made a mistake in your life? I’m sure you have and so have I. Not one or five or ten, but many!! A few days back, during the sermon a Priest in our parish said, “All of us humans have faults, all of are weak, all of us are vulnerable, all of us make mistakes.” So true. And what do we do when we realize that we made a mistake? We would want to correct it, we expect to be forgiven and given another chance. But do we do same – forgive and give another chance - when somebody else had made the mistake? Most often not!

I recently came across a video which shook me and challenged me! It was about the most prolific serial killer in US - Gary Ridgway. Well, what he did can’t be termed a mistake. He has been convicted of killing 49 woman in a timespan of almost two decades. He, however, confessed murdering at least 71! After being sentenced to 48 life sentences without any parole, the judge asked the relatives of the victims to come and share their story in front of the whole court. These would be the last memories Gary would have before being led into prison for the rest of his life. The below video shows a glimpse of that. I request you to have a look at it.

Woah! I was left speechless, surprised to see, how can someone, who has lost probably the most important person in his life, forgive such a remorseless, hardened criminal!! But then, that’s we are called to do. We are forgiven so that we can forgive! We all know if God starts keeping a record of all the wrongs that we do and not forgive us - where will we be!!

Right now, we may not come across a serial killer to forgive (I pray that we never do in our lifetime); but we know that there are many whom we need to forgive and reconcile with. It may be our family members, our friends, our office colleagues, our boss, our Parish priests, our teachers, our ministry team members.......  We can either chose to be angry, retaliate, hold grudge against them, hate them, talk ill about them, curse and condemn them or we can choose to forgive them and be at peace with them and ourselves. Our Lord asks us to do the latter. 

“Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:31, 32.

Let’s take these words to heart and take genuine efforts to forgive others. Whoever he or she is, whatever he or she has done, even if it’s entirely their fault, let’s pray for them, forgive them, reconcile with them, love them!

Someone said, "Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself." I think it goes beyond 'yourself' and touches the heart of the one being forgiven! The power of forgiveness heals both: the forgiven and the forgiver! Don’t you want to experience it?

God Bless!

Lessons at the Police Station

In the last week I had quite a few adventurous days. Believe it or not, but I’ve been in and out of the police station! Thankfully, not as a convict, but as a complainant.

The week before that, I got an SMS which threatened me saying, “……You will see your end soon.” This was the first time that I got an anonymous threat to my life, but somehow I wasn’t disturbed. Nevertheless as a procedure and a precautionary measure I had to register a complaint with the local Police and that’s how the frequent visit to the cops began. After a few days, they finally nabbed the guy who did this. He was someone I knew. When I first saw him at the Police Station, I felt nothing, may be because I suspected him from the very beginning. But when he was questioned by the cops in front of me, there was such a surge of emotions within me. The lame excuses that he was giving and the way he was justifying his act made me furious. I felt disgusted and I could feel anger and hatred building up within me. I had initially decided to forgive him and ignore the incident but every time he spoke, the reasons and excuses that he gave were so irrational and argumentative that it became more and more difficult for me to forgive him.

And that’s when I heard something. The verses of Bible which I read sometime back and about which I wrote in my last post came back to me. “Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who persecute you.” I felt a chill run down my spine and that moment I realized what exactly I was supposed to do. I had to forgive him, pray for him and bless him. It was easier said than done, but finally with His grace I was able to. At the end, before leaving the police station, I wished him all the best for his future.

This incident was such an eye opener! Such a small incident and it was so difficult for me to forgive him. Think about Jesus on the Cross. Stretched out on the cross, hanging by three nails between sky and Earth, he was surrounded by people who made fun of him, who mocked him, who ridiculed him, who accused him for things he never did, who chastised him, who crowned him with thorns, who made him go through the most painful torture, who crucified him, who were challenging him to come down from the Cross, who killed Him without knowing that it was for them that He was dying. Instead of hating them, cursing them, praying for their doom, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Luke23:34)  Woah!! Truly Awesome. I was left speechless when I pictured it.

I guess that’s why He is the Sign of Contradiction, He is the Messiah, He is my Lord and my God  and that’s why I follow Him.

Our God is an awesome God!

God Bless!

Sign of Contradiction

A couple of months back, KFC opened its first outlet in Vijayawada, right opposite to my office. Great news! I actually came to know about it even months before it opened. How? I was just walking in front of the building under renovation and saw Colonel Sanders framed picture hidden in a corner. One look at it and I knew what was coming. In any ordinary day we come across so many signs, symbols, logos which say it all – bitten apple, leaping panther, golden arches, Colonel Sanders, the tick mark etc, etc ,etc. They all stand for something. A look at them and we associate in an instant what they stand for. One of the most common sign that I come across is the Cross.  Do you know what it stood for? It stood for death by crucifixion – the most painful and also the most shameful death. It was a sign of death, of torture, of pain, of agony, of humiliation, of abandonment. But Jesus forever changed what it stood for. This very sign of shame changed into a sign of sacrifice, of obedience, of redemption, of courage, of forgiveness, of peace, of grace, of hope, of love. 

Everything that Jesus did was in contradiction to the normal practices, social settings, religious rituals, human logic. When He was an infant Simeon prophesised about Jesus saying, "He shall stand as a Sign of Contradiction." (Luke:2:34) And He did. Christ has been a Sign of Contradiction throughout.

When any king would have been born in a palace, Jesus - the King of Kings was born in a dirty manger;

When others would have chosen the most luxurious houses to stay, he didn’t have any place of his own;

When others taught eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth, He taught “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44);

When others would shun outcasts, He accepted them; when others stayed away from lepers, He touched them, hugged them, healed them;

When others didn’t want to be associated with tax collectors, prostitutes, sinners, He spent time with them, walked with them, helped them, forgave them and showed them the right path;

When others wanted to stone a sinful woman to death, He stood by her and gave her a new life;

When others would select the most qualified people to be their followers, He called the outcasts, the illiterates, the powerless to be His first twelve disciples;

When others would command their disciples to respect them, He washed their feet;

When others looked for power, riches, wealth, He said “Seek first the kingdom of God and everything else shall be given to you.” (Matthew 6:33);

When others would hold grudge against others and would not forgive even once, He said forgive seven time seventy;

When others would become furious if they are accused for anybody else’s slightest mistakes, He, who committed no sin, took upon Himself the sins and wrongdoings of everyone who ever lived or will live on earth;

When others would want their desires, wishes, will to be done, He said “Father, not mine, but let your will be done.”(Matthew  26:39) ;

When others would curse those who hurt them even in the slightest possible manner, He prayed for forgiveness for those who tortured Him, chastised Him, killed Him;

When others, in order to be victorious, would want to kill their enemies and defeat them, He became victorious by sacrificing Himself and facing the most painful death;

When others would die and perish, He rose up the third day and said “I will be with you always, till the end of ages.” (Matthew 28:20);

When others would talk about love, He showed what true love is.

He truly was a sign of contradiction. In my life also, He stood as a sign of contradiction. He still does. When I was running away from Him, He came all the more closer to me; When I felt all alone, He was there with me; When I kept on hurting Him through my sinful life, He forgave and hugged me; When I was drowning deep in addictions, He lifted me up; When I denied His love, He loved me more and more; When I was leading a wretched, meaningless, miserable life, He came and changed my life for the good; When I was afraid to open my mouth in front of a few people, He made me speak in front of hundreds; When I had no one besides me, He stood by me every second of my life and He still does; When I’m surrounded by troubles and worries, He gives me courage; When things go wrong and I’m restless, He fills my heart with a peace that is beyond my understanding,  When I’m filled with anxiety and tension, He puts a smile on my face; When I think that nothing is going the right way, He says, “Don’t worry it will all be fine.”; When I forget Him, go away from Him, He still remembers me and brings me ever close to Him; When I lead an ordinary life, He inspires me to lead a meaningful one and asks me to be a sign of contradiction.

Lets know this Sign of Contradiction personally and lets, through our lives, try to be a sign of contradiction.

“Let no one reproach you, because you are young. Be a model ... in the way you speak, act, in your love, your faith and purity of life.” (1Timothy4:12)

God Bless!